Tips & Advice

From Dr. Liz Herself

February 11, 2021
Know your love language
Healthy girl with red love balloon

Updated on 22nd March 2023

Good hormone balance is only a beginning for a healthy, satisfying and loving romantic relationship. Understanding yourself and your partner is just as important.Know your love language.

Knowing your “love language” is a pretty easy entry into self-knowledge that can help.

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman, was first published in 1992. It has been on the New York Times Bestseller list since 2009!

5 love languages

Here are the five love languages as described by Dr. Chapman:

  1. Physical touch
  2. Words of affirmation
  3. Quality time
  4. Gifts
  5. Acts of service

Dr. Chapman suggests that each of us has a primary and a secondary love language. You can read the book (a fun and easy read) or you can go online and take a quiz to discover your love languages.

One of my best friends, however, made it really easy to figure out your love language.

Simply fill in the blank in the sentence:

“I only *really* know you love me if you … __________.”

Fill in with: “touch me,” “say nice things to me,” “spend time with me,” “buy me gifts,” or “do things for me.”

For example, her love language is gifts. You can hold her hand, spend time with her, tell her how great she is, and you can do things for her all day, but if you don’t get her gifts, she does not feel truly completely loved.

My love language

Dr. Liz and Mark at Palazzo Las VegasMy love language is physical touch. Long before I was married, I dated a man who would come to visit, and before giving me a hello hug, would start fixing things around my house. Can you guess his love language? Yes – acts of service! We did not get past this incompatibility. This was of course lucky for me, since now my husband and I know and speak each other’s love language.

This Valentine’s Day, instead of only eating chocolate :), take the time to figure out your love language. Describe the above information to someone you care about (a partner or another loved one) and ask them to fill in that one sentence.

Learning about yourself and the people you care about is sweeter than chocolate anyway.

Additional Recommended Reading:

How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage, by Milan and Kay Yerkovich – this continues to be helpful and illuminating information years after I first read it.

Bobbi Palmer, Dating and Relationship Expert – Blogs and audios, essential advice for dating after age 40

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